Doctrine of the Disenchanted
This page serves as a Doctrine of the Disenchanted to the Church & religion in general. When you are guilted and shamed about your decision to deconstruct, this page can help keep you afloat.
What they'll say. . .
They say: “You’re just confused.”
Why it’s bullshit: This reframes your awakening as illness. Your clarity becomes a symptom.
Reframe it: You’re not confused, you are beginning to see things as they truly are.
They say: “You were doing so well before you drifted.”
Why it’s bullshit: They imply your growth is regression.
Reframe it: What they damn, you embrace as rebirth.
They say: “Your parents are praying for you.”
Why it’s bullshit: It uses love as leverage. You’re guilted into performance.
Reframe it: You’re allowed to love them without letting them control your path.
They say: “But what if you’re wrong?”
Why it’s bullshit: Eternal damnation bypasses logic and floods you with fear.
Reframe it: Fear is a tactic, not truth. No loving deity needs your abject terror.
They say: “We miss you.”
Why it’s bullshit: Community was once comfort. Now it’s bait.
Reframe it: A home that punishes you for leaving was never a home at all.
They say: “You’ve let pride get in the way.”
Why it’s bullshit: You are cast as arrogant for daring to think independently.
Reframe it: You are trusting your instincts, and they welcome you back.
They say: “This is just a season. God is testing you.”
Why it’s bullshit: Your pain is dismissed as a divine quiz to which 'god' knows your answers already.
Reframe it: This is the beginning of enlightenment, a journey they may never join you on.
They say: “God still loves you, even when you turn away.”
Why it’s bullshit: It’s framed as compassion, but laced with accusation.
Reframe it: If god had treated you as a loved creation, you'd never have left.
They say: “I just don’t see the fruit of the Spirit in you anymore.”
Why it’s bullshit: Morality is made proprietary.
Reframe it: You can do extraordinary things without the need of religion.
They say: “When life gets hard, who will you turn to?”
Why it’s bullshit: It threatens abandonment and spiritual isolation.
Reframe it: Strength isn’t found in dependency. It’s found in clarity.
How They Pull You Back
Traps are clever, and so must we be.
Tactic: Love-Bombing
Line: “We’ve missed you so much!”
Mechanism: You're the most important thing;until you aren't again.
Tactic: Reinstated Shame Cycles
Line: “Look at what the world has done to you.”
Mechanism: Your departure is blamed for every hardship. Suffering treated as evidence.
Tactic: Familial Pressure
Line: “Your grandmother’s heart is breaking.”
Mechanism: Emotional hijacking. You are responsible for their reaction to your reality.
Tactic: Reframing Your Journey
Line: “You were just lost for a while.”
Mechanism: Your evolution is rebranded as damning rebellion.
Tactic: Prosperity Bait
Line: “Look how God is blessing us.”
Mechanism: If you don't have God, you're screwed!
Tactic: Silence as Punishment
Line: *Nothing. Just absence.*
Mechanism: You are ghosted. Their attention comes only through compliance.
Tactic: Scripture Barrage
Line: “Let’s see what the Bible says…”
Mechanism: Fatigue you with Bible verses until you give in or shut down.
Tactic: Cyclical Apologies
Line: “We’ve changed. Give us another chance.”
Mechanism: A honeymoon period;then back to coercion. Similar to abusive relationships.
Tactic: Identity Reassignment
Line: “That’s not who you are.”
Mechanism: A version of you that no longer exists lives in their head, and they want to make it reality.
Remember, this is path the brightest walk, and you have discovered it. There is comfort in lies, but you were strong enough to seek the unforgiving truth and emerged wiser. You should be proud of yourself.