Thanks, No Thanks.

As the Fire Nation prepares to host its holidays, many may be asked to, or expected to, participate in a Family Prayer. Some people reading this may be doing so for help on what to say when you no longer want to pray.

My purpose in writing this is to list some responses you can use if you are put on the spot. Many years ago, when I was but a little deconstructee, I didn't know what to say. Maybe you will because of this.

Find one that fits you!

The "go along to get along" method: - Silence is a tool.

Just grab hands, don't repeat anything, keep your eyes fixed on something appealing, and wait for them to get done. Most of them won't be looking to see if your eyes are open.

Talk to the host: - You're making it easier on them.

"Hey, just wanted to give you a heads up so I don't cause any issues. I don't pray, but will happily respect your traditions in silence."

A funny redirect: - Seen as politely funny, hopefully with no further protest.

"Oh, goodness! You don't want ME leading a prayer!"

A personal practice: - Aloof, yet also a firm no.

"I use this time to reflect inwardly and focus on gratitude. You go ahead."

For the kids: - If someone tries to compel them.

"My family doesn't pray, but we'll stand here quietly."

“If someone tries to make you pray or say anything religious, you can just say ‘I don’t do that’ or come find me. You’re not in trouble.”

“Hey, we’re not raising them religious. Please don’t put them on the spot.”

Remember

You don't owe anyone an explanation on your preference.

It's dinner, not a debate.

If they accuse you of just doing this to start a fight, remind them Jesus himself didn't come to bring peace, but a sword. (Matt 10:34)

The holidays are hard - many of us were raised with very strong memories around this period. Protect your peace if it becomes necessary.

Sometimes, it really is as simple as Thanks, No Thanks.